12.09.2007

Univision's GOP Debate: A View from the Coconut Caucus

I missed today's Univision Republican Debate, so no post-debate commentary from me.

Instead, I offer La bloguera's take as posted on the South Florida-based Adventures of the Coconut Caucus weblog, a site which proudly claims to put "the PANIC in Hispanic."

La Bloguera's comments are hilarious.

Liveblogging the Republican Spanglish debate

By La bloguera

Yes it is that time again another Univision Spanglish debate!!!!!

AND just like last time, the questions are asked in Spanish, translated to English, then the candidates speak English and are translated into Spanish by anonymous male voices.

We start out with Jorge Ramos and Maria Elena Salinas introducing the candidates… so far John McCain, our possibly first Hispanic republican presidente, has received the most applause…

Where is Tank???? how can we bash immigrants without him…

AND now our first audio glitch… with Giuliani…. and he has the voice of a a gay puertorrican!!!!

Romney gets a deep male voice and doesn´t answer the question…

Yo quiero tu voto

McCain has a nondescript voice to translate for him and says he saw some Hispanics on Thanksgiving

Thompson gets a high pitched Argentinian voice…

Duncan Hunter says something about Reagan and El Salvador and gets a bunch of applause

Now Ron Paul, with his usual the bridges are falling here while we are fighting in Irak (his translator dude can barely keep up with him)

Back to Giuliani and that hilarious gay guys voice who seems very happy to translate for him…

Finally!!!!! a question about immigration!!!! it only took less than 20 minutes

The candidates answers to the immigration question (why do you hate us?), is so convolute, the translators can barely find the right words in Spanish and keep making mistakes…

So now Jorge Ramos asks Romney about his relations with that landscaping immigrant…. he says his relationship with that immigrant IS OVER

Thompson, in that high pitched male voice he got, says we can´t have ALL of our relatives applying for immigration status…just wife and kids (first wife, second wife?)

OK, people i am completely bilingual, and I can´t understand WTF they are saying!!!! they are all saying they love immigrants and want to deport them at the same time, and we are a country of laws, and protect the border and let immigrants in…… NO ENTIENDO un carajo!!!!!

Yipee, finally a commercial!!!

the first one is for toilet paper, excellent

OK everybody we are in MIAMI so we have to ask about Hugo Chávez…. and the audience totally boooos Ron Paul says we should talk to Chávez and then all travel to Cuba!!!!, most fun so far!!!!

All the rest say Chávez is an evil dictator and get much applause…

IN CASE YOU FORGOT we are in Miami, so now they are talking about Cuban and how evil Fidel Castro is…

Bikini TV does politics

Finally Irak, and so far according to all the candidates we are winning!!!!

Until of course Ron Paul, bring the troops home!!! and he actually gets some of his applause back.

On to health care…. over an hour, how long is this thing anyway????

Well they all seem to be in favor of health care for everybody and for money for everybody to pay for it without raising taxes…

8:10 PM another commercial… calling cards…and then one about a clairvoyant or something that can tell you if your significant other is being unfaithful…

now unto education…. they are all in favor….

Duncan Hunter says the solution to public education is inspiration and Hispanic astronauts…

So finally the last question: How will Hispanics shape the future of America, i.e. Please pander to us about how great we Hispanics are forever and ever amen…

Ron Paul: Read the Constitution…

McCain: Something about freedom and back to Chávez

Giuliani: Viva Cuban americans, oh and those in NYC too

Romney: Please stop having children without getting married

and it is over!!!! Al fin!!!!

I will get to my post debate hangover later, for now the best moment of the debate was Ron Paul telling an auditorium full of Cubans in Miami that we should all travel to Cuba

AND in case you are wondering what the old media types are saying about the debate, here goes that too

And since once is not enough you can watch the whole thing again here